SUSPECT: MARCUS “IAN” MCKENZIE
It is a gloomy room, a sage green colour with strange drip marks adorning the walls... what liquid could have formed those drips... could it be... bLOOD!l?
Marcus Ian McKenzie (37) is tied with bright orange rope to an office chair in the middle of the room, he can spin around but cannot move his body. He is harshly lit with white lights.
Zack is conducting the interrogation, Grace is there for moral support as well as physical intimidation of the suspect, she bucks at him often.
Marcus sweats bullets, knowing the jig may be up.
Z
State your name for the record.
M
Marcus Ian McKenzie.
Z
Got it, Marcuuus Mckeen/z.
M
Oh sorry, Marcus Ian McKenzie.
Z
That's how you want to be billed?
M
Yeah... "Marcus McKenzie" is a semi-successful filmmaker from Adelaide, whereas "Marcus Ian McKenzie" is like... an artist. From Melbourne. More of like, like a real artist's kinda artist you know? Also, the Adelaide guy owns marcusmckenzie.com so I had to rebrand.
Z
So that's your occupation? For the record? A real artist's kinda artist?
M
Actually, I call myself an acteur, which I think playfully highlights my interest in language-mangling and wordbuilding (sic).
Z
And who would you consider your most frequent collaborators?
M
Some people I work with regularly are Harriet Gillies & Thom Smyth from Sydney; while here in Naarm I have been working a lot with Anna Nalpantidis, D Duàn, Nina Buchanon and Romanie Harper. Lately, I've also done more club-based stuff with Soft Centre, Miscellania, Lucid Danceclub, Room2, Le Fag and MONA. Oh! and I also do puppet theatre for children aged 7-13.
Z
Tell us, Marcus "Ian" McKenzie, why did you hold myself and my friend/collaborator, Grace Ellen Macpherso/n -
M
Grace "Ellen" Macpherson.*
Z
Huh?
M
If you're gonna put quotations around my middle name I want them around hers too.
Z
Oh! You would exercise micro-managerial control over us wouldn't you? Just like you did when we were your unpaid interns on your Green Room-award-winning durational performance work 8/8/8:WORK which WE KNOW you made in collaboration with Harriet Gillies!
*Grace bucks at Marcus and makes a scary face*
M
For the record, we abused you as unpaid interns to make a point. It was a joke.
Z
Some kind of sick millennial joke
M
I think if there's room, in the interview that is, it could be good to have a little more context about your experience on 8/8/8:WORK for people who don't know the project.
Z
So that's what this interrogation is to you then!? An interview!? Yet another opportunity for you to market your 3-part series of 8-hour-long durational works. Including: 8/8/8:WORK which debuted in RISING festival 2022. A commentary on the 8 hour work day within which Grace and I inter/ned -
G
And were made to shave your naked body!
Z
Yeah that!
M
Listen... it was a different time. It was the wild west back then! You just.. you just can't do anything anym/ore.
Z
Well apparently we didn't shave it good enough, because we certainly were NOT invited back to part 2, 8/8/8:REST, which debuted at RISING Festival 2024 and served to highlight the insufficiency of only 8 hours of rest in the 40 -hour-work week economic model which we have inherited.
M
We had a much smaller budget.
G
So you cut the unpaid interns? You disgust me...
*Grace spits on Marcus*
M
So you're disgusted by work of scale!?
Z
And what exactly would you consider "work of scale"? What makes it different from ordinary shit?
M
I guess it just means a big project with lots of moving parts, lots of collaborators, lots of logistics. It's not my term, I heard some arts bureaucrat use it once. It's only different to other shit in terms of kind, not quality. Like size doesn't matter - you can make something ambitious and microscopic, or gigantic and myopic. There's no hierarchy there, it's just sometimes helpful to use specific langu/age.
G
Ok shut up now. It's our turn to do the talking.
*Grace bucks at Marcus once again and makes an even scarier face*
Z
Thank you Grace. So, Marcus, one night after a long and grueling day of unpaid labour, which we donated to 8/8/8:WORK, Grace and I rushed off the tram in a tizzy! We had forgotten my laptop. We had to walk up Sydney road, back to Schoolhouse Studios... and then we saw it.
M
Your laptop?
G
No! It! I. T.
M
Information Technologies?
G
NO! We saw It!!!! You!! There!! Surrounded by bodies flying in circles around you as you glowed!
M
I do have a glow about me, but I simply can't be responsible for interns taking psychedelics on the job.
Z
Grace, was this guy always this fucking annoying?
*Grace nods in agreement*
M
Listen, it's really not that serious, you saw me doing some after hours rehearsal, we all do it! It's the crunch!
G
We don't believe you Marcus.
*Zack enters the middle of the space, a spotlight illuminates him as he poses to tell the tale:*
Z
You see, upon our arrival, we witnessed a terrifying scene. There in the centre of the Schoolhouse were the likes of Lara Thoms, Eugene Choi, Mish Grigor, Rebecca Jensen, Lilian Steiner and Peter Paltos, worshipping you, bowing from a kneeled position at your feet! Explain yourself!
M
They're just mates, don't you ever prostrate yourself at your friends' feet?
Z
We don't believe you! Don't make us destory something you love.
*Zack slams his hands against a wall and the spotlight turns red*
M
Ohhh nice, I like the word "de-story" a lot, good slipsus.
Z
Oh for fucks sake it was a typo Marcus. We will break you. Grace, bring in... the baby.
*Grace leaves the room, only to reappear with a blow torch and one of Marcus' limited edition 'Cry Baby' caps.*
M
No. Please.
Z
Tell us what you know, what we KNOW you know, or the baby gets it.
M
No you don't understand! I hand make every one of those caps! They are a highly coveted appendage of my acclaimed performance exhumation The Crying Room!
Z
Oh I know.
M
I individually placed each rhinestone to reference every teardrop -
Z
TELL US NOW!
M
THEY'RE ON BACK-ORDER! I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE! I COULD SHIP IT TO EMMA MCMANUS!
*Grace lights the blow torch and inches the flame closer and closer to the beloved cap, which is made to order in light of Marcus' The Crying Room: Exhumed, an evolution of his Green-Room-Award winning The Crying Room.*
*Marcus starts to cry. They have broken him.*
M
You see.... There is this uh... an organisation. Known only as the D.I.C... by the way, have you read I Love Dick by Kriss Krauss? There's a good joke in there somewhere.
*The flames of Grace's blowtorch reach the cap*
M
OKAY OKAY! I'll tell you everything...just leave my caps alone.
TO BE CONTINUUED!!!...
Please note that Grace and Zack were indeed paid for their work during 8/8/8:WORK and they were merely playing characters named "unpaid interns" perhaps they have taken the method too far.