It's 1 am, you have a show opening tomorrow and all you want is to sleep.

You have worked so hard to get to this moment, however a single thought won't leave your head.

What will the reviewers think?

Will they like me? Will they get it? Will they even come now that we cut the bar tab?

Nothing quite captures the attention of theatre makers like reviews and those who pen them. Artists have a love-hate relationship with reviews written by those brave enough to make their thoughts on theatre public.

To open yourself up to criticism by being a critic is a dangerous game. I think I have heard more reviews of reviewers than I have heard actual reviews.

Their careers can play out like a soap, because although they try to be objective, inevitably biases and grudges become apparent. It’s a brave thing to put yourself out there like that, especially if you have aspirations of being an artist... But what if there was a way to skip the name, skip the face and tell it how it is?

Anonymous reviews are something I have always had a fascination with. Real reviews, real honest feedback that could offer the hard truths to make this industry its best. This is often better in theory than practice.

A few years back, however, I received a friend request on Facebook from the Sydney Theatre blog by Simeon. Not to brag but the followers were under 100 at that point – I was filled with joy.

The blog enthralled us with the theatre-going experiences of a high school boy as he and his dad attended all manner of theatre. The observations were both so funny and pointed you couldn't be mad. The lens in which the critique was framed was so innocent and useful; how could you disagree with an earnest quip about bad accents?

They captured the joy that causes most theatre makers to fall in love with theatre in the first place. It cut through the criticism, stakes and fear. It gave a place to celebrate the joy and laugh at the silliness of theatre. It’s called play for a reason.

But over time my relationship with the blog changed, I remember the moment distinctly.

The worst kept secret of the blog is that Simeon is surely a pseudonym of an adult having fun. But it was so fun, no one wanted to know who it was; that would spoil it.

All of this changed when a new portion of the blog was added. Littered amongst the reviews were theatre thoughts of the month.

A quippy one-sentence read of the industry each month. These were not in the same voice, they showed an age and bitterness that broke the veneer. Annoyance about standing ovations and other one liners that were pulled straight from the mouths of annoyed artists in foyers. It felt like a betrayal of the fun, the innocence.

Then began the what ifs: who could this be? The stark difference in tone lifted the mask of fun and showed something different.

First suspicions would say it's an existing reviewer, but giving it more thought; why would a reviewer risk that much? They could lose their job from this. Artists have less risk in it. If Simeon was exposed as an actor or director no professional relationship would be harmed. I have suspicions and plan to follow the breadcrumbs more in a follow up piece. The first clue to consider is who other than reviewers gets free tickets?… And as I did get the red string and piece together all the theatres they attend… Follow the clusters! There's a true crime podcast in there about trying to find out who Simeon is. Simeon if you are reading this… or writing this… or hearing about this article from someone else… Whoever you are, whether a single person, or collective or god, working on this very magazine… I will find out your true identity whatever the cost.

The success of Simeon is their reviews are fun, creative and cheeky. We take critique so seriously for an industry concerned with creating moments of enjoyment.

Simeon (whoever you are) captures why I got into the industry. Why I love this industry. Dedicate so much of my time and energy, and over time it can really wear you down.

I think we all crave a chance to reignite the child we once were. The rush as we stepped on stage for the first time, got to gush about our respect for a hero of ours. Saw something we had never seen before. Witnessed humanity reflected back at us and learnt something from it.

I think we need more of that.

Simeon is bigger than whoever pens Simeon. I really hope I don't create a monster by talking about them in such grand terms, because that's the thing that I love most about those reviews. They are small in scale. The details are intimate. The observations are profound in their simplicity. Five stars.